I have not blogged in almost FOUR YEARS, since early 2016, and I want to get back in the swing of things. My goal for this post is to have it be adequate. I've got reasons for not writing: I had a job. I had a baby! Work things were too private to write about, and I didn't have brain space for thinking and writing about non-work things.
2019 Recap
How about an update, just of the past year, since it's been overwhelming. In January 2019, the startup I was at for 3.5 years was acquired. I was employee number one, loved lots of things about the startup, but didn't want to follow my team to the acquirer. Instead, I wanted to find a way to finish my PhD (that I started in *ahem* 2007, but left in 2014). In late January, I didn't know how it would happen, but by February, it seemed like there was a way through! I reconnected with people at my university, worked on my dissertation, and from April to June, I registered for my very last quarter. I rebuilt a wonderful and supportive committee, polished everything up, had a great defense, and officially graduated in June 2019. The last part of grad school was amazing, a whirlwind of everything finally working out. I am grateful to have experienced it, to everyone who helped me through, and to finally have gotten to the end of it. |
| Shortly after my PhD defense in June 2019, delighted and proud, standing in front of the UW CSE building (the first one) |
After graduating, without any taking a meaningful break, I immediately joined a local startup. Six months later, I burned out hard. Or something. I felt like a badass, I did amazing invaluable work, I was a Director of Engineering and AI, performing the role of CTO and pushing my abilities to new limits, but it cost way too much of my soul for not enough payoff. I left about three weeks ago in January 2020.
Startups, man. I've got some interesting data points to compare and contrast.
2020: Into the Unknown
That's a Frozen 2 reference, y'all. The first Frozen movie came out around the time I was thinking about quitting grad school, so Elsa has a special place in my heart regarding life transitions.
I've had this unfinished PhD weighing on me from 2014-2019 and a lot of things I did (first startup, family, other assorted jobs) were in the shadow of that, even the latest startup that I jumped right into (in the penumbra of the shadow, you could say). I am finally, finally, finally free of that weight.
Who am I without that weight? I am only just starting to allow myself to decompress so I'm not 100% sure. But I know I have everything I need to move forward and figure it out.
When I was a teen (or younger? in debate with my mom) and wanted to absurdly answer the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?", I said I wanted to be a firetruck. This weekend, I was with my parents visiting their old coworkers, one who collects old fire engines, so I was near a firetruck. I think that's a good sign.
I've had this unfinished PhD weighing on me from 2014-2019 and a lot of things I did (first startup, family, other assorted jobs) were in the shadow of that, even the latest startup that I jumped right into (in the penumbra of the shadow, you could say). I am finally, finally, finally free of that weight.
Who am I without that weight? I am only just starting to allow myself to decompress so I'm not 100% sure. But I know I have everything I need to move forward and figure it out.
When I was a teen (or younger? in debate with my mom) and wanted to absurdly answer the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?", I said I wanted to be a firetruck. This weekend, I was with my parents visiting their old coworkers, one who collects old fire engines, so I was near a firetruck. I think that's a good sign.
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| Wearing a firefighter's hat (from SFFD, it seems) next to a fire engine from 1924 |
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| Riding the fire engine with my mom and dad |
In the near future, I would love to write about: Aspects of my dissertation. Random silly things I'm working on (todo: work on silly things). Serious things I'm working on or thinking about. Observations, musings, etc. The title of this blog is still apt: "projects and stuff".
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